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Please Target Donald Trump Supporters

There are lots of them. When you meet one, here are some things you should say to them or do with them. Full disclosure – I’m not American. I’m not a voter in the election. But there’s this large Republican convention starting tomorrow and I was listening to the radio (a mistake, I know), and…

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Law of the Diminishing Return

            It’s the hottest May on record in this city. ‘May 5, 2015 Dear Mr. Martin, Hi Billy! Welcome to our building. Happy to have you here, and no problem about helping you move in. You certainly have a lot of stuff! Attached you’ll find a pack of tenant guidelines. If you have any questions,…

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I Am Black

                I am black. Oh rota, the blank person who walks beside me, what are you saying? That you want candy? We walk into a store, and it’s full of black people, how black they are and how perfect, but beside me is a blank person and he (or she) is nothing at all. Just…

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The Prince Phillip Movement

            Jamie is a midget – not really a midget, but close. This hasn’t hampered her life in the slightest, but she’s always aware of where she stands relative to everything around her: she’s constantly in a state of comparative analysis, assessing objects as they relate to her stature. Some are three-times-Jamie; others are half-Jamie…

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Pickle

            Anne wasn’t hit by a bus. She was standing still, staring at a painting she didn’t give a shit about, when her eyes glazed and she dropped her purse. It took Don five minutes to realize that something was wrong, to remember that Anne didn’t care about paintings or museums. Anne only really cared…