I See You
You say you have a plan
One that will take us away
The means and the will are the easy part, you tell me
The money is harder
(But excuse me, what did you do
When you stopped your job
Other than sit at home and hope
That I would fix that for you?)
You say you have a concept
For a book that will sell a million copies
Well don’t we all darling
Tell me again when you got so special
(But honestly what does it mean
When you walk into town?
Do you see your movies in the gravel?
And the novels in the lamp posts?)
You say you have a friend
That will give us everything we need
Well where is he darling?
And why don’t you know his name?
(But hello, when your dad calls
You don’t go over to see him
When he needs to go to the clinic
You won’t be the one to take him)
You say you have a dream
One that spirals through a Sunday afternoon
It won’t take much, you tell me
To reach this one
(But hey, what about those books
The ones you fill with dreams
The ones sitting in the trailer
Underneath the coffee stains)
You say all these things
You say them again and again
As if you need reasons, lots of them
To repeat, re-live, believe
But the reasons are right there, darling
The reasons, darling, are right there
ohhh–nice.
Do you ever actually sleep?
Yes! However, I am working on the bestselling novel with the movie deal mentioned above as we speak, and leave e-mail up so I can run away from editing it. So–short answer is yes–but not much!
Oh geez. I need my sleep I tell ya. Are you really writing a novel? What’s it about eh?
Yes, I really, really am writing a novel. It is about a woman in a stagnant relationship/life, who undergoes a traumatic experience that, instead of destroying her, becomes the means of her liberation. Wow–I just summarized a big story into one sentence. But that is it in its most condensed form. In a short while, I will be needing feedback on my second editing round, and would enjoy your input, if you would like to chew on more meat of the story than what I just gave you–which really was a scrap.
Let’s do it, I’m very interested in reading it. I do warn that I’m a fairly harsh critic sometimes. I just try to be honest. Would love to read when you’re ready.
Good–I am in need of harsh criticism
Okay. Whenever you are set. I am awfully honoured that you would want me to read your stuff by the way.
Trent–I am honored that you would read it–really like your prose style.
I’m not sure what to comment on now the great poem or the interest in the novel, I have read the sci fi stuff and really liked it
Thanks Bruce.
This is too real.
And so, hurts a little.
But I love it deeply.
Thanks much for the nice words. Hurt so good sometimes. Sometimes.
I could hear your pain and frustration, for someone who dreams and dreams but never takes action. A sad lovely piece. Regards
Thank you. I don’t really claim much personal connection to this piece. I can imagine people like this but not sure I have ever met one.
No doubt that lots have dreams they talk lots about without doing anything about. I like the use of parenthesis here, and the books under coffee stains and novels in lamp posts. Nice one Trent.
Thanks Pete. Don’t think you’re one of those. Me – jury’s still out. Time always tells.
I like the way you ended it.
Thanks much M. I hardly remember this one. Time just keeps on going sometimes.
Hello! I think your blog is great and I’ve nominated you for the “Very Inspiring Blogger” award! Click on the link if you’re interested : )
http://patjohnrussell.wordpress.com/2012/12/02/very-inspiring-blogger-award/
Man, thank you but I’m not really into awards. Glad you got Ayaladn and Mirror Obscura though, and I see Brice in your community – that man is worthy of many awards. Thanks for thinking of me and the best with your writing… Trent
Oh no don’t worry I knew some wouldn’t be up for it but I still wanted to put the ones I chose on so that people might wander onto your sites anyway!
Thank you, and you!
Paddy.
Thanks much Pat. Do see if Brice would be interested, he could certainly merit some attention. Just a suggestion.
I see Brice mentioned a couple of time but can’t seem to find the page, if you could link it that would be brilliant, thanks again 🙂
Sorry, should have elaborated. Brice runs Flashlightcityblues: http://flashlightcityblues.com/
now that does make sense! I love this blog, I didn’t realise it had slipped through the net I’ll rectify this, thanks again 🙂
interesting one! someone with only hopes, dreams and other things….
Seems like a lot of people in this situation.
Really liked the flow of this one!
And it makes me ashamed of my dreaming.
It’s okay, I’ll just shut the door and turn of the light and maybe no one will ever know.
No worries. I’m pretty much always in the dark too. Thanks for the words, been a while since I thought about this one.
Ahh… a poem!
Actually I think it is a song, yeah,
with harmonies
and choruses.
Oh, yeah…
I try not to make a habit of it. I love music, but can’t much do that either.
Would you like your lyrical poem set to music and sung?
Actually, may I ask, do you sing?
Unfortunately, I don’t. Well, knock that, I do sing with my kids. I even dance with my kids, and I never dance any other time.
If you’re offering to sing that poem, I would be incredibly flattered and immensely curious to see how that would turn out. I don’t really have a very good voice, I suspect you would do a much better job of it.
Well hello Trent, what a pleasant surprise.
I do the ‘singing with kids thing’, too, so don’t expect too much! If you know the tune, and can send a soundfile, then please do, as it would give me a little idea of how to begin. I’m investigating copyright and royalties and licensing at present. It’s intriguing how the music industry works. I would love to have a go at singing your poem.
I don’t actually know the tune. This was written so long ago, not sure what was going through my head at the time. Are you good at making up tunes? I wish I was. I plunk away at the piano with my kids now and then, it’s an awful row.
Haha… you remind me of me. Pity our poor town. They put a piano on the street and yes, I can’t help myself, I plunk away on it in public and people even laugh and join in! It’s the kid in me. It just leaps out unannounced. I have this harebrained notion that I might get good at making up tunes if I start making them up. So I will have a go, and see what comes out.
I have a fair amount of faith in you, already, however young our acquaintance. You seem to have an artist’s soul, and just as important, a sense of fun.
If faith is what it is called, you are looking into my soul and holding up a mirror while shining a torch into the depths! 🙂 I am enjoying our youthful acquaintanceship most heartily.
I also. It’s a bit weird running into someone you can relate to. This is fun.
It is a lot of fun, and I must say very unexpected, and at a good time. 🙂 I actually feel like I am riding on a wave, and at any moment I will lose the flow and crash spectacularly. Like, oops, what a jerk I really am…
I like the way you tenderly expose global concerns in your writing. I like the way you speak of your love for your children. You are most definitely a writer… I’m sort of a mix of lots of things, and switch and change between them. (Bear in mind if I seem changeable and inconsistent. It’s just because I am!)
Friends are so precious. You aren’t going to crash, I think your nature shines through too much, and it seems to be a good nature. I really can’t conceive of you as a jerk at all… there are jerks a-plenty hereabouts, you know.
I think you’re an artist. Perhaps like that Art fellow from PMAO. An artist’s soul. Different talents. Best way to be.
Thank you. I like Uncle Art too. Also Trenton Babbage who has nipped out of the scene for who knows how long.
Trenton is a personal hero of mine, that guy is a real writer. Art tries harder than anyone I know, he blogs like all the time. So many interesting personalities…
Yeah… Trenton is one writer and a half isn’t he. My goodness he has command of a magnificent voice!
I wonder if you do too…. (cooorrrrrrr…)
Nah, my voice isn’t near as good as his.
Probably still leaves it in the range of “wonderful.” 😉
(Friends are precious indeed. And rare…)
Hey… psst! Trent!
I have a song recorded. Okay if I upload it to SoundCloud, and set it to Private so you can have a listen to it before deciding if you ever want anyone else to hear it? 😉
It’s not quite Abba….. ha!
Anasera.
Morning! Yes, absolutely, I would love to hear it.
Brilliiant! I will load the (three) songs up now, to SoundCloud, and post you the link. 🙂
Oh… I crack me up. I have done a funny one too! Hope you answer soon… I think I am about to do one more! Shshhsomebody Shtop me!
No no keep going!
Okay. I have three songs for you. One serious, one funny, and one funnier! With your permission, I would love to load them up on to SoundCloud, give you a preview while it’s private, and then with permission, I really want to plonk them on to my blog to share! If you like them, well, you can choose which one or ones you would like to share too!
Love to – let me know where I can go to check them out.
Haha… I am cracking up again. Here they are. Enjoy! 🙂
Ooops – here: https://soundcloud.com/wildersoul/sets/i-see-you-poem-by-trent-lewin/s-ZBFC0
It is a secret private link, although I think anyone who sees the link can hear it. So… you can delete this comment if you want to check it out first. 🙂
Let me know if you want it made “Public” and I will post it on my blog. 🙂
I’m on it… might be bit later tonight, when the house is actually quiet… not that it ever is.
I will try not to think about it until then.
I just listened to the first one, second one just started. But had to say that first one was stunning. I’m amazed, hardly know what to say. Feel honoured and flattered, but more than that, I think it’s amazing what you did with this frilly little piece, it actually felt like something meaningful. Please post on your blog! I’m going to link to mine if you are okay with that.
Amazing.
Brilliant. I am so pleased you like it! Yes, of course, link to yours! And it is meaningful. I might try again on it one day. The rhythm in my head, and the chorus that I imagined, didn’t come into existence when I applied my voice to it. I might need the assistance of a musical instrument.
My goodness… that second one… makes me wish I could do music. Makes me realize how far away I am from that. This was sheer fun. So jazzy cool.
I have been playing silly singing games in the shower for years… quite an expert at it now… ha!
WilderSoul… pure fantastic. There is no other word necessary. You have a huge amount of soul in you.
I loved them all but the first one tossed me off a cliff into a rainbow; I’m still sliding down the magenta chute. I would much appreciate your permission to post it on my blog.
You absolutely have my full and express permission.
Is it okay if I post all three on my blog, and make all three “public” on SoundCloud?
I love that you loved them all.
Absolutely, please do. I think I will link the full thing on mine, too.
I will nip across and make the whole thing public then. Won’t be a mo.
The whole set is on this public playlist: https://soundcloud.com/wildersoul/sets/i-see-you-poem-by-trent-lewin
Love the “oooh” right at the end of the last one, too. You rock, Anasera.
It needed that little “something,” I thought. (chortle)
It was perfect.
Just listened again… got chills.
Wow. Chills?
I am numb and at the same time ecstatic. Curious mix.
That’s the first time anyone has ever said my voice gave them chills!
It totally did. Thank you so much for this, it really feels like such an unexpected gift.
Here is the properly named, public track, for serious version 1, with my compliments.
https://soundcloud.com/wildersoul/i-see-you-version-1
Okay thank you. I might start with this one and then post the full version later. This one really really spoke to me.
On the other hand, please let me know if you would like me to take version 2 and 3 off SoundCloud altogether. (I can keep them for personal use only, on my own computer!)
No no please, keep them out there, they are so much fun.
I’m glad you think so. Here they are:
https://soundcloud.com/wildersoul/i-see-you-version-2
https://soundcloud.com/wildersoul/i-see-you-version-3
(There’s a WordPress embed code you can pick up from the share button on each song at Soundcloud. I am guessing you already know that though.)
Cool, thank you. I just posted the first version and will follow up with the others. Now to race to work… not even five o’clock yet and I have to drive an hour and a half to Toronto… such fun. I should have burned your clip to an mp3 and brought it with me in the car.
Probably fortunate you did not! ha!
Drive safe, take care!
I just got here… what a drive. Soooo cold walking to the coffee shop, where I’m stuck until the office opens. It’s amazing, don’t leave early and you spend that much longer on the road, but leave early enough and you get stuck in a coffee shop. Which I don’t mind. Nice strong coffee this morning.
Coffee shops can be like a little home away from home.
At least a warm place of pleasant aroma, from which to look out at the freezy snow.