All you Canadians out there, this is a rallying cry to assemble at once, Parliament Hill pronto! Some of them Americans are putting us down, ignoring our obvious humour, charm and hygeine. Yeah that’s right, I spelled humour with a “u”. Suck it.
This post was inspired by Rhonda (http://help-me-rhonda.com/), which should come as no surprise. So to continue the frivolity and delve into the worst blog post of all time, I give you a butchered version of the Canadian national anthem, O Canada.
O Canada!
Our home above USA
True patriot love we pee into the wind.
With glowing farts made of nucleotides
The true north that didn’t invent Glee!
Both fat and wide,
O Canada, we chop down all our trees.
God keep our land, hilarious and freezing
O Canada, we stand erect for thee
O Canada, we stand erect for thee.
O CANADA…you slay me. This is bloody brilliant and I will climb one more rung of the “Ok Canucks are funny” ladder. but ONLY is the last line is the fucking truth!!!
That’s the only part that’s true!
I reblogged it…I have to share this with any vagrant frogs that may pass my way. touche Trent!
Oh gosh, a vagrant frog… you are too funny.
ribbit (got frog legs too i’m afraid)
Please stop, I’m trying to work!
Canadians work? Since when? Aren’t you due another government holiday soon or something?
Okay wow, low blow. We are very industrious people and did I mention that in 1812 or thereabouts that we sacked Washington and burned down the White House. Don’t make us do it again!
Reblogged this on Help Me Rhonda and commented:
For my northern neighbor and true frog…Trent. This rocks and any and all Canadians should be proud to sing along with you! ROFL
hahaha – awesome
Thanks. Rhonda made me do it.
she’s good at that 😉
Apparently. She somewhat easily incited me to idiocy.
its a power that she has – beware the rhonda-woman my friend
I have been duly warned.
LMAO!!! My sides are killing me. GLOWING FARTS! I may not be Canadian but that was freakin’ GREAT!
Thanks man. We don’t really do that you know, the fart bit I mean. The rest… well….
Sure you chicken (poulet to you)…you don’t allow for enough comment space for me to respond to you sacking Washington!! Here’s what I have to say about that….YOU AND WHO’S ARMY?
Um, well, we have this old rusty jeep, a decrepit helicopter and some security guards. Probably best we can do. But we got a lot of heart! Oh yeah, and we’re bringing our hockey sticks.
Oh ho…now you are talking! I love me some hockey eh? Meet ya on the ice pal!
It’s on.
You better wear extra padding!
Leather chaps maybe?
Ohhh, funny man…trying to distract me?
Hey you’re the one that brought them up. I looked em up and am strangely interested. Where on earth you would buy such things though…
A Cowboy store of course! No, seriously, an tack shop would sell them. “Strangely interested?” Hmmmm
Of course….. I should have known.
yes, you should have, but I won’t count that against you, just in case in Canada they are called the “we supply chippendale dancers” store. 😉
HEY…YO….Mr. Canada….Just listened to a very funny comic, named Dana Alexander. Just thought I’d drop in to tell you this:
CANADIAN’S ARE FUNNIER WHEN THEY MOVE TO ENGLAND. 😆
All right, that’s it, I’m calling Russell Peters to come down and take care of y’all with his acerbic wit. There is a truly funny brown Canadian.
ROFL…y’all? You from southern Canada then? I can match southern wits with you any day my friend. Do NOT go there! And Russell Peters? Let me remind you of just ONE famous Canadian comedy powerhouse that chose to come HERE to get famous…can we spell Dan Akroid? Ok, more than one…John Candy? Michael J Fox? (ok, not so much the Fox) Eugene Levy? Rich Little for God’s sake? Really? Send Russell on down, we’ll end up keeping him, trust me!
ROFL…y’all? You from southern Canada then? I can match southern wits with you any day my friend. Do NOT go there! And Russell Peters? Let me remind you of just ONE famous Canadian comedy powerhouse that chose to come HERE to get famous…can we spell Dan Akroid? Ok, more than one…John Candy? Michael J Fox? (ok, not so much the Fox) Eugene Levy? Rich Little for God’s sake? Really? Send Russell on down, we’ll end up keeping him, trust me!
OMG…Leslie? How did I forget Leslie? Please…
ohhh you can certainly inflict a lot of damage with those hockey sticks, my man.
That’s how come we so smart up here.
LOL!
OMG, OMG, OMG–I. LOVE. THIS. You are brilliant, sick, twisted, and funny as hell!
I’m glad someone actually added brilliant and funny to the other bits. Usually I just get that. Thanks Susan, this was initiated by Rhonda in some strange manner. I think she caught me in a weak moment.
Rhonda nudges my creativity quite a bit too when we chat. Some odd quirk she has. Trent, you are much, much more than just sick and twisted–anyone who calls you just those two things is being quite lazy.
Oh thanks Susan. I am mortified that no other Canadians jumped in to defend our northern pride, but I am happy about your kind words.
🙂 you can count me as half-Canadian, if that helps!
It totally does. My other peeps are letting me down.
I love you Canucks!!!
Thanks man. We need all the love we can get.
Who doesn’t?
Ain’t that the truth.
response from the USA…lmao
O Canada…from down under I see,
Overflowing with gay men ordered to love by a Queen,
Strong wide Mounters, who are ‘free to be me’
With rising pants, we can clearly see thee,
With absolutely fabulous guards, go forth
I hate to burst your bubble, but Alaska’s true north,
Ohh Canada … You Point The Way North!
Ohh Canada … You Point The Way North!
That was a glorious laugh on a Saturday aft, thanks much for that.
This is far better than making war 🙂
I agree. War is daft.
Meh. You’re just flavor of the month down here at the moment, like Australia was in the ’80’s. Well move on to Brazil or Iceland or Tajikistan sooner or later and you’ll miss all the attention – and you’ll be all like, “hey, remember me, your fun-time buddy from up north??”
I dunno. We have a plan to marry your woman and breed our Canadian blood into you guys one state at a time, until you are all hosers like us. One day, you will wake up wearing toques for no reason, and have insatiable cravings for french fries dressed in cheese curds and gravy, and then we will see who is the flavour of the day. Tajikistan? Come on, we are way cooler than Tajikistanis.
LOL, never tried but will fer sure, what a jest! : )
Jest so.
I’m substituting this every time I see a hockey game between the wings and any Canadia team. Hilarious.
That I’d love to see… we Canadians are funny, eh?
I can’t believe you’re reading all these old posts… if you find any that you really like, let me know.
It’s fun and omgosh, your exchanges with Art in some of the comments were funny. I kinda caught up. I see where I liked and even commented. Your writing is a treat that my inbox loves to receive, and that I love to read.
Thanks Leah. Thanks for saying that, it means the world.
Psst…Jaded ;):)