Year: 2016

The Day You Jump

T-minus 3 days.             But I suck at math, so let me back up. You’re surprised? Shouldn’t be. T-minus 5 days.             There we go. In the hallway with Annette Benig’s twin sister. No kidding.             She’s leans in. “You’ve got to be kidding.”             I want to suck on her nose. “Nope,” I tell […]

The Proper Way to Live

                A pressing, distressing narrative this is not. It’s 1570 Spain, and I’m a missionary building a church in the middle of the forest. It’s 1960 southern United States and I’m a policeman shining the beam on a tree, and its leaves, as the sky shines bright with stars and people sing in the distance, […]

Emily, to the Surprise of the Hat-Maker

                  Jacob is a hat-builder. He makes hats for people with heads of all sizes. Some heads are round, others pointed, and now and then a head presents itself that is misshapen in some notable way, by cleft or protrusion – in any case, some condition that requires a mastery of hat-building. Jacob builds […]

Shocking Proof that Trent Lewin is a Robot

You won’t believe me, but I’m not real. Not a real human being. I’m a robot. An automaton. Trent Lewin is an anagram (try it, and you will see), and that name was always a hint that something was different about who I am – that in fact, I am no one. I never was. […]

The Prince Phillip Movement

            Jamie is a midget – not really a midget, but close. This hasn’t hampered her life in the slightest, but she’s always aware of where she stands relative to everything around her: she’s constantly in a state of comparative analysis, assessing objects as they relate to her stature. Some are three-times-Jamie; others are half-Jamie […]

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