I was a healthy baby. No issues there.
It’s when I grew older that I felt a corruption sinking into me. The need for money. For safety and security, to the exclusion of other people. I’ve tamped much of that. I try to help as much as I can. I work in a field committed to saving ourselves from the excesses of the past, to stop and reverse this changing climate that any self-respecting subject matter expert will tell you is a big trouble. It’s a wonderful cause. It needs to be done.
Identity is funny. I die, I get reborn. I reimagine my writing voice, always in cycles that demand I write at times for others, until I remember that I’m just one person, and I should be writing for me. I’m in that cycle now. The Trent Lewin cycle of weirdness and mashed genres, of finding characters that live and breathe just the same way I do. I’m right in that life, and it’s where I want to be. The trick is not in figuring things out. The trick is in remembering where I want to be. Who I am.
I’m really proud to see myself published in a legendary journal: Grain Literary Magazine. My story, titled Titan Arum, comes out in the fall issue. I shouldn’t need that kind of justification to amplify the trueness of whatever my voice is, but honestly, it’s so affirming and validating. I feel warm. I feel grateful. I feel a bit undeserving, too. But over all of that, I feel like I need to blaze hotter and brighter, and that’s exactly what I’m going to do as this sensation persists. Dream hard.
Thank you for listening to me, everyone. I treasure those of you I’ve met and talked with here. You are my friends.