In honor of our friend X, who has posted many a funny in his time, I’m providing a meagre attempt at replicating his hilariousness (which is badly missed). So without further ado, eleven (not ten) reasons why Donald J Trump will absolutely be re-elected in November 2020 as President of the United States: Even if […]
Wake up. There’s dishes in the sink, an unused car in the driveway. Flip to the internet, and there it is, finally, the real truth about lockdowns, the thing they will never tell you: lockdowns decrease the size of your penis. I run to the bathroom and have a look down there. “Seems […]
Wake up. No cars on the roads. No paper to wipe my ass. I drink coffee. Drink some more. Pour it down my throat until it scalds my insides and is coming out the other end in a continuous stream. I wonder why I can’t just recirculate this fluid, […]
“The smallest germ can fell the largest elephant, but the smallest elephant is still better than a cat.” – T. Lewin ____________________________________________________________________________ I have some writing news to deliver in early April. For the record, the above is not a photo of me. Everyone stay safe and well.
“If you ever see a politician with a firecracker in their mouth, make sure you didn’t leave anything on the stove.” – T. Lewin. ______________________________________________________________________________ Anyway, the last story I wrote (and previous blog post), called ‘We the Divine‘ is a personal favourite of mine. I don’t really have favourites. And I hate writing […]
A lack of disposable income is like a leaky faucet, and neither is worth complaining about unless you’re thirsty and broke. ________________________________________________________________________________ You may not believe that the above is a short story, but it is. Just stripped of all its characters, flow, prose and setting – but otherwise, it’s right there. Thirty two syllables […]
This is dedicated to my friend Art. He’s been a blogging buddy for a long time and has just started his own podcast, which gives you a glimpse into the innards of his mind. It’s not a pretty place. Probably slightly narcissistic. But it’s full of art and madness, and that’s what makes it unique. […]
You are only as good as the last ten words you spoke before going to bed. _________________________________________________ Appreciate everyone who read my last story. 4000 words and a difficult thing to go through but you guys are awesome.
The perfect man is a hairy woman. _________________________________________________________________ So that is a theme for a story I might otherwise have written. Maybe I still will. Just, you know, insight into my writing ‘process‘. And leave it to Catastrophe Jones to remind me that I’ve already written about a hairy woman. This particular hairy woman is […]
An abundance of caution is roughly the equivalent of being spanked by a helium balloon. __________________________________________ Well, attention spans are short and my stories are too long and confusing, so why not distill the essential message of a short story into one sentence and simply avoid all that pesky filler and amorphous meaning? This […]