Category: life

How to Write a Novel

It isn’t easy. But it’s not as hard as you think, either. Anyone could have a great novel inside of them, but it’s not going to matter if you don’t write it. Here’s my insight, and do’s and don’ts. Read a ton of other books. Or, you know, don’t, and write something that just comes […]

Why Donald Trump Will Be Re-Elected (warning: sarcasm included)

In honor of our friend X, who has posted many a funny in his time, I’m providing a meagre attempt at replicating his hilariousness (which is badly missed). So without further ado, eleven (not ten) reasons why Donald J Trump will absolutely be re-elected in November 2020 as President of the United States: Even if […]

A Day in the Life of Know-It-All Super-Authority Trent “I’m Awesome and Everyone Else Sucks” Lewin

            Wake up. There’s dishes in the sink, an unused car in the driveway. Flip to the internet, and there it is, finally, the real truth about lockdowns, the thing they will never tell you: lockdowns decrease the size of your penis.             I run to the bathroom and have a look down there. “Seems […]

Shortest Post Ever!

I want this girl’s hair! No stories this week! Just wanted to say that I’m pushing on edits of my book, thanks to a couple of wonderful blog buddies that I called out in my last post (https://trentlewin.com/2020/05/03/the-arms-of-village/) – they helped with tremendous suggestions and edits. Hope to illustrate the publishing journey through the blog, […]

Boston, D.C.

            “Come work in the call centre with me,” says the Indian boy.             “Saying that because you’re drunk,” I tell him.             “Not at all.” He chugs his beer. “Why does a broke boy come to India?”             “Have you ever been to Brandon, Manitoba? Ever experienced being the worst student in Brandon, Manitoba?” […]

A Week in the Life of Emerging Superstar Writer Chung-Cha, aka Trent Lewin

       Wake up. No cars on the roads. No paper to wipe my ass.        I drink coffee. Drink some more. Pour it down my throat until it scalds my insides and is coming out the other end in a continuous stream. I wonder why I can’t just recirculate this fluid, […]

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