Fiction, and other made-up stories
The perfect man is a hairy woman. _________________________________________________________________ So that is a theme for a story I might otherwise have written. Maybe I still will. Just, you know, insight into my writing ‘process‘. And leave it to Catastrophe Jones to remind me that I’ve already written about a hairy woman. This particular hairy woman is […]
An abundance of caution is roughly the equivalent of being spanked by a helium balloon. __________________________________________ Well, attention spans are short and my stories are too long and confusing, so why not distill the essential message of a short story into one sentence and simply avoid all that pesky filler and amorphous meaning? This […]
The shortest line between points A and B is the recognition that there’s more to the alphabet than two letters. ____________________________________________ With all respect to Johnny Crabcakes (https://aprayerlikegravity.wordpress.com)
The knock on the door is loud. It’s a man in sunglasses. “President Lewin,” he says. “Should I get your pants?” “Pants?” I ask him. “What do I need pants for?” And indeed, it’s nine-thirty in the morning. Nine fucking thirty. “Pants do not come on until eleven. They do not come […]
((I was asked about this story by a few people, reread it, and felt – as usual – that I didn’t even remember writing it! But here it is again, a strange story about a man and a woman, and a baby)) —————————————————————————————————————————————– Anne wasn’t hit by a bus. She was standing still, staring […]
No, it’s about something much more important. This cartoon was run in the latest edition of Charlie Hebdo, the satirical magazine that was targeted by terrorists in January of this year: That’s right, it’s a drawing of Alan Kurdi drowned in the waves as he and his family attempted to flee the most dangerous country […]
We eat an average of 100 bananas a year, per person. Over a typical lifespan, that means we eat 8,000 bananas. The average banana is about 8 inches long, so that’s basically a length of bananas that is almost exactly 1 mile long. Almost 1 mile exactly. And that is where this starts. With 1 […]
As some of you may have heard, Art from Pouring My Art Out is out to break the record for comments on a single blog post: http://pouringmyartout.wordpress.com/2014/01/23/this-is-not-a-post-about-this-post-this-is-about-breaking-a-record/. He will respond to any and every comment you make there, sans fail. He will have the last word on everything, I promise. I’ve been over there a […]
The Rules for Bosses 1. Tidings of Joy Never ask for anything from a subordinate until the last minute. Be sure to make most of your requests are at the end of the day, or, even better, last thing on a Friday. Be sure to use the word “subordinate” a few times during the conversation, […]
