A Day in the Life of Know-It-All Super-Authority Trent “I’m Awesome and Everyone Else Sucks” Lewin

            Wake up. There’s dishes in the sink, an unused car in the driveway. Flip to the internet, and there it is, finally, the real truth about lockdowns, the thing they will never tell you: lockdowns decrease the size of your penis.             I run to the bathroom and have a look down there. “Seems…

Wisdom Bites Back (pt. 3)

The perfect man is a hairy woman. _________________________________________________________________ So that is a theme for a story I might otherwise have written. Maybe I still will. Just, you know, insight into my writing ‘process‘. And leave it to Catastrophe Jones to remind me that I’ve already written about a hairy woman. This particular hairy woman is…

Wisdom Bites Back (pt. 2)

  An abundance of caution is roughly the equivalent of being spanked by a helium balloon. __________________________________________ Well, attention spans are short and my stories are too long and confusing, so why not distill the essential message of a short story into one sentence and simply avoid all that pesky filler and amorphous meaning? This…