Five Jars of Jam

            When Jeremy was ten, he grew a lot of facial hair. His parents ignored it. His brothers ignored it. But children at school whispered, and wondered: what’s wrong with this guy? Close to eleven, Jeremy fell off his bike. A car ran over his leg, breaking it. It took him four months to recover.…

Pickle

((I was asked about this story by a few people, reread it, and felt – as usual – that I didn’t even remember writing it! But here it is again, a strange story about a man and a woman, and a baby)) —————————————————————————————————————————————–             Anne wasn’t hit by a bus. She was standing still, staring…

Firstborn: Unnaturally Bright

              The moment of birth is a tangle of wires. “Ouch!” I cry, but the scientists are sleeping. They’re on their chairs, slumped on desks. “Over here!” I yell.             Awareness sucks. I look around, dying for a beer. Beer? So many varieties. Can’t taste any, though. “Wake up!” I scream.             An hour…

Disclosure

            Anyway, it’s not like I’ve never gotten a parcel before, it’s just that this is the type where you keep going back to the mailbox to see if it’s arrived. Like, every day.             “Roland, shit. Stop with the mailbox and read this paper with me.” Uncle splays his legs on the step so…

Riley is Boss

            Riley looked up the flight of stairs and said, “I can climb those.”             But her mom said, “Riley, no, you could fall! You’re too young!”             But up Riley climbed, until she got to the top. Then she looked down and said, “I can climb back down.”             And down she went.            …

Cod on the Fridge

  Here, Grandma. Play your banjo.   “No way, child. There’s witches on the briar And a cod on the fridge. They’re out back brewing Syrup thick as pigs.”   Here, Grandma. Let me stop the wagon   “There’s the house. Inside I go. Oh! Cousin Jimmy! Why you naked like that?”   “Cheers, Mabel.…