Dear America

Ah America. How are you? My name is Trent Lewin. I’m not a doctor or anything, but I have been known to heal the masses upon occasion. So I turn my attention to you, the confused and the enraged, and I choose to cuddle up with your enormous posteriors to offer advice as best I…

Please Target Donald Trump Supporters

There are lots of them. When you meet one, here are some things you should say to them or do with them. Full disclosure – I’m not American. I’m not a voter in the election. But there’s this large Republican convention starting tomorrow and I was listening to the radio (a mistake, I know), and…

Season of the Trent

                  Wake up. There’s a noise my body’s making, not exactly the harbinger of doom; still, I have to wonder about the uncontrolled emissions as I, Trent Lewin, become a potent source of greenhouse gas – but I figure as I crawl downstairs and make coffee that the planet’s got it coming. Saucy bitch,…

Anywhere is Better than Here: A True Tale of Domestic Terror

                You may or may not believe it, but this is a true story.                 On July 24, 2015, R_____ and J_____, family name withheld, were loitering in the dusty parking lot behind a townhouse complex when they saw a heap of recyclables perched against a back entrance. Their original inclination was to push the…